July 14, 2017

Can You Guarantee Your Daughter’s Safety?

As the husband of an incredible wife and a father of seven beautiful daughters and two awesome sons, one in college, the other in the Air Force, I want to do anything and everything I can to guarantee my family’s safety.

As most fathers are, I am very passionate about protecting my daughters and knew before I was married that I would be extremely protective, especially of daughters. When I heard about guys raping girls, I wanted to kill them. I have always thought of them as the scum of the earth, the most evil and pathetic of all human beings.

I was so worried about raising girls and protecting them, I decided the solution was to not have any girls. I told my wife, before we married, that I only had one prenuptial condition and that was that she had to agree to have all boys.  She laughed.  I tried hypnotizing her.  With my best hypnotist imitation I would raise my hands and with all the hypnotic powers I could muster, I would say, “You will have all boys….You will have all boys… You will have all boys.”

Nevertheless, even calling on “the force”, exclaiming in my best Yoda voice, “Have all boys, you will…Have girls, you will not” did not work. After seven amazing girls, I gave up. In fact, we had no thought of having a boy. We had not even discussed possible boy names when our eighth child arrived. When he popped out, I just thought she was deformed.

Now he’s in the Air Force, helping to maintain and insure our country’s and our individual freedoms against those who would take them away, much like the D.A.D.® helps insure our individual freedom from those who would take it away.

So, how do I guarantee their safety? Can I guarantee it? My daughters are not wimps, except maybe one. In fact, when one of my daughters was in high school just north of Dallas, Texas, a very tough girl was beating up another girl with a big crowd of people watching. Bystanders were doing absolutely nothing to help the weaker girl, who was getting pummeled badly by the bigger, stronger girl, who was on top of her.

My daughter pulled the mean girl to her feet and with a straight right, knocked her flat on her back and jumped on top of her and began pummeling her face with punches, but was dragged off her by her sisters who, unlike the rest of the crowd, were not shocked by her bravery and ability.

The girls and boys have taken martial arts classes and I have taught them that if they ever are attacked, to immediately do everything in their power, in the most vicious manner, to inflict the most pain and injury using their hands, feet, elbows, knees, head, teeth and anything they can find to get away as soon as possible, running and screaming for help. I told them they must have no regard for their attacker, who is highly likely to be bigger and stronger than they are. I told them not expect or hope for mercy. Gouge his eyes out. Strike his throat, groin and temple. Dislocate his knees. Get away!

However, the problem is that if, after all kinds of advice and months or years of self-defense training, the attacker is simply too big and/or too strong, or is more skilled, or is drugged-up and oblivious to pain, you will be the victim, unless you have a force-multiplier. That is the reality, as in the case of Bre and Kayli Lasley and their attacker. They tried everything, including calling 911 four times.

According to one study, we all have about an 83% chance of being a victim of a violent crime at some point in our lives.

So, can I guarantee the safety of those I love and are responsible to protect? NO! But I can do a whole lot to help them protect themselves in the greatest variety of situations. I will tell you how.

Let’s start by pointing out that you can go to the web sites of many Universities and they will give you advice on how to stay safe from rape and assault. It is all reasonable and good advice, but will not stop an attacker from making you his or her victim.

These “TIPS” get praise from some and criticism from others. Some claim that they put all the responsibility on the woman while the best solution would be to stop men from raping.  Ideally, that is the best solution, but realistically, it cannot be the only solution.

When my daughter was on a photo shoot with a 16-year-old girl and her mother she got out of the car and had to take the daughter down a trail, under a tunnel and to a graffiti laden wall for some “artsy” photos. Well, she did not have to, but that is what they wanted to do.

Just as they were about to exit the tunnel a guy burst out of the bushes in front of the tunnel, half naked and pulling up his pants. It stunned my daughter and the 16-year-old client jumped behind her for protection. 

My daughter immediately addressed the guy and asked him what he was doing? She was very calm and polite, but confident as he tried to explain what he was doing and why he was there.

Her confidence was due to the fact that she already had a D.A.D.® (Defense Alert Device), a force multiplier, in her hand, before he jumped out of the bushes. She knew what she would do if he did not keep his distance. In this case, the guy did not attack. They continued on to the graffiti wall and shot some great photos.

Now, a TIP might have been:

   1    Don’t go to potentially dangerous, remote places to shoot photos.

The problem with that is it is not realistic.  It also would not be realistic for her to have had a gun in her hand when the guy jumped out of the bushes.  She might have had her gun in a holster, but if that had been a sudden attack, might not have had time to access it, and shooting the guy would not have been justified.

If you are a female on a college campus, you might consider tips like this:

   1    Take extra precaution at night. Don’t go anywhere alone. Use the buddy system or call campus security. Of course, a buddy might not be available all the time. Campus security cannot accompany tens of thousands of students. However, it’s good advice if you can use it.

   2    Be careful when approaching and getting into your car. Check inside, under and around the vehicle, especially if parked next to other vehicles, like vans. Someone could be hiding inside or beside the vehicle, out of sight, waiting for you to arrive.

   3    Three women were attacked while putting things into the back seat and raped in their vehicle, on the spot, by the same individual. None of them saw him until he came up behind them and pushed them into the car.

   4    Another rapist hid under a vehicle in a very visible downtown, open air parking lot, in the middle of the afternoon and raped her right there, on the asphalt, between two cars. She had a gun on her at the time of the rape but was unable to access it.

   5    Know where you are going, walk with confidence, make eye contact and avoid looking down at your phone when in any area of potential exposure to attack. Be “situationally aware” of your surroundings and people. Know what you would do to escape if attacked.

   6    Take a self-defense class. They can be very helpful in helping you have the right mindset and also teaching you a few key techniques that truly can make a difference. There are excellent instructors in Krav Maga, Jujitsu, Muay Thai, Wing Chun, Aikido, Taekwondo and others. Such classes will definitely help you be safer and more prepared, even with one class.

   7    Walk in lighted areas whenever possible, even if the walk is longer.

There are these and many other helpful tips to avoid getting assaulted, whether male or female.

However, there is one CRITICAL consideration.  You can follow all these tips and many more, but if you are attacked by someone who is bigger, stronger and more capable than you, you will be at that person’s mercy and that person is not likely to show any mercy.

Therefore, the only solution is what is referred to as a force-multiplier.  This could be a firearm or a non-lethal device like the D.A.D.® (Defense Alert Device).  There is also pepper spray in a can or stun devices.

You have to decide which one is most likely to be in hand if suddenly attacked and most likely to remain in hand during a physical assault. It must be operable, by you, under extreme stress. After all that, it must be capable of stopping the attacker if properly used.

The D.A.D.® is the most likely device to be in hand due to its non-weapon appearance. It is most likely to remain in hand, in firing position, during a sudden, physical attack. This is due to the hand strap and “forced Indexing” of the device into the right position.

The D.A.D.® is the most likely of any non-lethal device to stop even a drug impaired attacker, based on the 96%+ stop rate of previous TigerLights, even those with pepper spray just over half as potent as that used in the D.A.D.®. 

The D.A.D.® also has the unique, unmatched ability to send out a silent call for help in the form of an app alert that goes to the mobile phone of anyone within a one mile radius who has the free D.A.D. app and has “crowd alert” turned on. The alert is also sent to people’s text and email if the sender has put their cell phone number and email in the app contacts.

These alert recipients are potentially in the best position to render help much quicker than 911. This amazing feature of the D.A.D.® device got it voted by Bluetooth SIG to be one of the Top 20 Most Innovative Products in the world.

For us, IT’S ABOUT FREEDOM and about being NEVER ALONE.  I hope this helps you be a little safer, hopefully a lot safer and makes life more enjoyable. The D.A.D.® 2 will definitely give you a sense of freedom and a feeling that you are never alone when you have it with you.

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